My full name is Ronald Kalmar Nielsen. Kalmar is a small port town in Sweden near the Norwegian border where my grandfather was born. The Kalmar name was famous for the Kalmar Union that united the Nordic kingdoms during the 15th century. But by the time my grandfather Paul Kalmar Nielsen was born in 1888 this union had become the three nations of Denmark, Norway, and Sweden.
Paul was the first-born son in his family. They accepted the restored Gospel in Oslo, Norway and immigrated to Utah in 1899. Paul’s first-born son was my father Harold Kalmar Nielsen. And I being the first-born inherited the same middle name. And of course, our first-born Derek is the fourth in the line of the Kalmar fame.
My father, Harold, was born in Murray, Utah in 1920. He was born breach and the strain of this trauma caused his mother’s heart to stop during childbirth. She said at that time she could see from above the doctors working on her body and the newborn baby. She was given the choice to stay is this newly found comforting bliss or go back and raise the new baby. Of course, her motherly instincts were strong and she chose to return despite the pain and raise her family of eventually eight children.
Focusing on the attention to save the mother, the doctors unknowingly dislocated the baby’s right shoulder and apparently damaged the main nerve to that arm. This did not become apparent until months later when the baby was not using his right arm. Dad had several operations over the years to restore the nerve, but they were not successful. My father went through his life with an atrophied right arm with no sensation or movement.
But his left arm was legendary! He was both all state fullback in football and point guard in basketball for his high school team. He received a football scholarship to BYU, but after an injury to his left arm he was convinced to trade the sport of football to star on the university’s tennis team. It was amazing what he could do with only one arm. He could tie his shoes faster with one hand than I could with my two. He taught me how to play handball and it was way into my adult years before I could finally beat him with the advantage of two arms. I never considered him handicapped.
It would be an understatement to say that my life was heavily influenced by my father. With Dad being a high school teacher, principal, and later a professor at Ricks College, I benefitted from many practical lessons he taught. Also, as firstborn in the family, I discovered I was breaking trail for my seven siblings. He referred to me as his “Judas Cow” for my brothers and sisters to follow. Dad always had chores for us to do. Our large garden not only provided fresh and bottled vegetables and fruit for our family but provided a training ground for hard work and learning the skills of planting, weeding, irrigating, harvesting, and canning.
The garden was not enough to feed our family; milk and eggs were necessary. Our one cow and a few chickens expanded to a small herd of five to six when Dad bought three acres of pasture nearby. Then a few years later we were running a 180-acre dairy farm of over thirty cows. In hindsight, it was obvious that Dad was not just raising cows he was raising us children.
Some of Dad’s aphorisms were: “Any job worth doing, is worth doing well.”0 “A change is as good as a rest! If you are tired of mowing the lawn, then go weed the garden.” “Doing nothing is the hardest work of all, because you cannot stop to rest.”
In addition to the farming and ranching skills acquired over the years, I learned building skills helping Dad build cow sheds, construct hay barns, and make additions to our home. Many experiences of mixing and finishing concrete, framing walls, shingling roofs, electrical wiring, plumbing bath and kitchens, etc. all helped me to later add additions to our own homes over the years.
It was not all work. Dad was an outdoors man. He was a Scoutmaster and later Explorer Advisor to the older boys. Even before I was old enough to join the Scouts, I tagged along on many of his outdoor camping trips. But it was the hunting and fishing trips that were most memorable. And it was not just for sport. No catch and release; it was hook and cook’em. Fish were tastily enjoyed weeks after the fishing trip by storing in the freezer. We both froze and bottled venison to be eaten year-round. We hardly ate any beef; it was venison and elk. Pheasant, sage hens, and ducks as well were added to the menu. All these hunting and fishing trips provided many stories to retell which helped knit our family close.
The most important lessons learned from Dad were moral ones. Being trustworthy, honest, kind . . . literally following the Scout Oath and Law in doing your duty to God, country, and fellow beings. These are the traits that bring real happiness to self, family, and community.
In Malachi 4:5-6, it foretold that Elijah would return to “turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers. . .” This scripture must have significance as it is repeated in all four of the Standard Works. Certainly, my heart has forever been turned to my father, grateful for the many lessons he passed on to me.
Moroni quoted these verses four times to Joseph Smith in September of 1823 with an especially important added nuance: “And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers.” (D&C 2). I believe that “the fathers” refers to the ancient patriarchs of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The promises granted to these patriarchs of infinite posterity and a promised land (Abraham 2, Genesis 12) are blessings sealed to couples in the Temple as they commit themselves to God and to each other.
— Brother Ron K. Nielsen